There’s this phrase I hear from time to time. It goes, “everyone is a little bisexual.”
I’m not going to argue its validity or anything, but it does get me thinking. Namely, that sexual orientation isn’t as black-and-white as “who you sleep with”.
See, I believe that romantic relationships have two main components: the sexual component, and the emotional component. As a person who identifies as homosexual, I am capable of enjoying sexual relations with a man, and develop a sense of love and deep affection towards men, thereby making me fully able to spend a fulfilling life with a man. Sexual and emotional components fulfilled.
As for women? I have had a fleeting admiration towards certain women, but not enough for me to desire a sexual experience with them. And emotionally, I cannot envision myself spending a significant part of my life with a woman, as my wife or long-time partner. It seems…unnatural. Not fulfilling.
Both the sexual and the emotional components must be fulfilled towards a particular gender, in order for one to claim a certain sexuality as their own (obviously, this primarily speaks to the three most known sexual orientations: heterosexuality, homosexuality and bisexuality). And it just so happens that sometimes there comes a person who truly, genuinely can feel sexually and emotionally fulfilled by both genders. These people are rarer than one might think, but yes, they do exist. We call these people bisexual.
This is not to discredit the millions of people who think a man having sex with another man makes him gay or bi. It just leaves a question mark.
Certain men are capable of getting aroused and sexually satisfied by intercourse with other men. However, it is not a given that they will have the emotional gravitas to secure a relationship with these men. Instead, he might find that fulfilment from women. And the sex may not be bad, too.
I’ve got a feeling that such a man would be more inclined to call himself “heterosexual” rather than “bisexual”, since he can build a lasting relationship with females and not males. His ability to enjoy intercourse with men isn’t diminished. Yet, sex isn’t enough to build a lasting relationship. A lasting relationship is built on trust, commitment, the expression of love and affection, in addition to the sex.
Of course, the Kinsey scale and all the science in the world cannot dictate the desires of the human heart. But as the eager of us have found out, the heart tends to be a very predictable thing.